Van :)

She sighed heavily, staring out of the huge frosty glass window, her palm leaving a trail of warmth against the frozen pane. she wished someone would warm up the house with his presence, warm her heart with his love...there was a rustling of bare branches and she peered down to see a figure standing below the castle..was he here to shower her with love..or tear her already broken heart.....?
heyoz, i just got distracted frm my mugging of econs.. = hahaz but u will inspire me to continue de... *grins*. anw, today was an average day.. i went mugging in the library wit my frens from 2 to 430 before i went down to the range to clear up some log stuffs. then went home..lol is my life boring or wadd. hahaz. actually wanted to update lotsa stuffs..but suddenly realised i have nothing to say abt myself..GROSS LA. anw, today mon had to entertain me agn..tt poor girl. i reached over and tapped her other shoulder and she turned towards a pillar and shoved it, saying "stop it!". LOL. i was so amused i had her do it like 2 times, bursting out in laughter everytime...>_<>
PS...i'm sorry didnt smile much ytd..too tired..but u know i miss ya =)

van 11:26 PM

today i felt much happier. =). we had our invitational todayy, there was a fair share of laughter, blur-ness, anger, irritation, jitters, rope burns, splinters in palms.. but i had fun, really.. here, i wanna thank fred for coming up with this, managing such a large scale competition, never grumbling as tough as it was. i really admire u fred =). Logistics, you've been a tiring unforgettable experience. i remember the long walks across geylang and their INTERESTING SPOTS while trying to get to the trophy shop..the hot and stuffy beach road n the walk with colin n mon frm beach road to mrt station... the making of the flags late into the night with mon, the trip to bill wee's house, the journey to terris, the making of signboards, the tireless untangling of nylon string and measuring of nylon strings....imm outings n attempts to steal sticks off a woman's basket. it was really fun..but time consuming and tiring..but it was worth it.. The shooters, u guys have been great. you tirelessly help us uncoil nylon strings (yuyan, jiapei), tie knots (han dong, kaisheng), shifting target boards (kaytai, siew mei, julie, xin yuan, weiren, blabla..so many to list), pinning canvas sheets (calvin, pei xin, kaytai, chok kee).. and many more..like de yao, hanson, zhong xian.. i'm sorry if i didnt put ur name here, but u have been great..n although i cant remember who ur are, i remember wad u've done.
Rope burns from pulling nylons, pin pricks from the umbrella pins and tent pegs, splinters from the wooden boards..these all serve as a sweet memory to wad we have achieved...i love you shooting club! =).
missing you...vanx

van 12:04 AM

For once in a long time, i was hesitant to write here. hesitant to write my feelings, because i am not so sure of them as well. find myself looking in the mirror, not recognising the girl i see standing in front of me. i may seem strong, but i'm not. i'm ALWAYS trying to be happy for u people, trying so hard i dun get wad i want but i smile it off, i live with it. first it had been him, living it off, shrugging it away, acting happy bout it. now, i accept it too, live with it, be happy with it. i'm seriously tired le. not going to think about it, will try not to..i will mug hard. cuz tt's e onli thing tt seems real to me right now. everything else is like a dream, tt i wanna wake up from. i'm so weary from everything tt's going on now...i'm afraid to move forward, for fear tt it's the end of the cliff

van 10:59 PM

She walked aimlessly, trying to find some meaning in her life, in her world surrounded by oriental carpets, high ceilings, sad portraits and dusty lonely windows that see no one. She couldnt find a point in going on..couldnt find the little strength she needed to push her on, to keep her going..she had no one. she was all alone, cold and desolated. she had no idea where everyone had gone, why they were hiding from her..she didnt even know if it was she who had been hiding herself from them. all she knew was that she was tired and alone...she has a flame of hope in her but she'll ignore it..she wouldnt want to give herself a hope that would fade, a dream that would vanish. she'd rather leave it in the depths of her shredded heart..where no one would want to enter...
hahaz. today was a funn day!! at first lecture n school, nothing much. then we went seoul garden. cuz it was wuzhen's bdae n we didnt really celebrate it for her, we decided to celebrate today. me and mon pretended we had to go buy archery stuff when in fact we went to raffles city to buy cake from bakerzin. chocy cake. then we rushed to bugis to buy a big Chip for her. it isnt really big la. hahaz. then we went seoul garden and eat until my buckle almost broke la and my skirt almost split. i ate like 4 scoops of ice-cream. i'm pig until cannot pig le. heex. then after ice-cream we went to the person and asked for the cake we bought and lit the candles and sang happy birthday.. wuzhen was so touched she cried. i wanted to cry too la. so touching..then we gave her the Chip. hope she liked it...=). then we went to take neoprints. it was soo fun cuz we kept like putting mucus dripping from val's nose, shit under her mouth, enlarge her mouth..haha it was hilarious cuz she was shrieking like madd. it was really funn. hahaz. then we went home lorr. oh btw, hahaz, there was this very shuai girl!! mon and i were saying tt if we were lesbians, we would really like her lo..haha.. eye candy!! anyway, wuzhen, happy birthday darlingzz. LOVE YOU.. hope u enjoyed urself wit us todayy. stay cute and happy alrite?
Muacks, Vanx

van 7:22 PM

i got my bagg hurhur. although its not say very exceptional or wad but mon mon my honhon went wit me to go get it.. we waited very long and she was very nice. I LOVE U MONMON! MUACKSS. The people at wisma atria the stadium were very good n i will compliment their services. =). haha. then me and my honey went to buy FAMOUS AMOS.. and the crystal jade fried chicken. fatfatfat!! then i came home and ate dinner. after one chicken, one bowl of yong tau foo (w/o noodles) and one cup of cup noodles.. i came home n ate rice.. aiyooo. but my no nut choc chip cookie is waiting for me yumyum. haha. i'm still hungry for famous amos. anw, sukky is sick today, take care! to my kor and his gf: happy anniversary =).

van 9:49 PM

She walked across the huge corridor of the palace. The dreary oil paintings stared back at her with soulful eyes. The historical princesses and queens lined the high walls, watching her with sadness and furrowing their brows in worry. Carvings etched on the wall spelled love and eternity between kings and queens, princes and princesses. And yet, her name was all alone at the other end of the wall. She had no one's name to put there. Her heart felt as cold as ice, as heavy as a boulder...Maybe...hopefully...she hoped and wished......
YO! (say it monica's way) today was a tiring day.. i was trying hard not to sleep during math lecture..and after lunch i had this really bad stomach pain.. my stomach hurted like crazy and i wanted to puke. but felt alot better after zhang yun's medicine. Thanks zy!! thankew to kaiyun, val, mon, sukky, liying n wuzhen for being so concerned too =). n thanks to the rest for asking me.. and my naggy brother who asked me thrice.. but thanks la.. ur mei knows u care (or pretend to) =P. Today i got back home about 8 plus and did my EOM. and listened to my bro gush abt his gf wahhahaha. today sad.. nv see much of my eye candy. To my sis: be strong ok? cheerupzz. To wuzhen: Happi birthday little one! Haha. Today mon had fun scaring me. i have no idea why.. whenever she hid behind walls and i KNOW she's there i'll still scream when she pops out. her face super farnie. hmmx. today we had our invitational rehearsal. It wasnt as hectic as i thought it was. ooh wellz. and ky was so happi to see her ahem todayy. hahaz. oh ya.. i realised i really have no sense of balance. whenever mon/ simna or anyone pushes me, i will keel over like tofu, or drift along in the exact direction they want me to go. arghhh. haha. oh wellz. i miss ya.. >_<. haha. gtg. love, vanx

van 1:01 AM

the princess stood in the tallest window in the tower, away from all the noise and chatter of the city. Loneliness wrapped around her like the thick shawl draped over her bare shoulders, shrouded her eyes like the misty cloud blocking the light from the moon. she whispered his name in the darkness, her voice rustling the leaves far away...can he hear her?
YOYOYO! today i went with monica to bill wee's to change the vouchers. i fell asleep on the bus.. almost drooled yuck yuck yuck. hahaz. kidding. then after tt we went to taka for pepper lunch. YUM YUM YUM. after that ate gelato agn. so FAT can?? hahaz then i saw a bag i like alot. planning to buy it tmr or day after.. i want it. it's a brown nike bag. so DUN STEAL IT FROM ME!! tata~

van 9:25 PM

yozz. just came back from wheelock n taka. hmmz today was a tiring day. in the morning i went swimming.. then after tt i went archery. weather was really hot and humid. my face was like a sponge of oil haha ew. my wrist, shoulder, elbow cant co-ordinate!! when one changes, everything else changes.. gimme some time fred!! haha sorry sorry make u so impatient. =P. then left wit mon for our CIP at orchard. Adopt-a-crane...there was this really nice man!! he donated 50 bucks!! so so so touching..i almost cried!!!!! haha. we sold abt 22 cranes. it was really fruitful and i felt good after tt. then we went to have our dinner. walk here walk there..haha just to find some place to sit down n eat. we ended up at yoshinoya agn. =). i downed this huge cup of drink..so thirstyy. n then we went venezia.. kaiyun ate choc gelato and i ate mint choc..my all time fave. =). then we sat the mrt home.. the long long wayy. overall had fun with ky, val, sukky, sumimi, monmon, chip and liyingg today. tho liying had to go her granny's bdae and mon had to meet her fren. haha. gtg mugg. buaizz'
Love, vanxxx

van 10:26 PM

hey hey hey. i didnt update my blog for a very longg longg time and upon special request by an impt person, kaiyun, i decided to do so. =). past few days have been a drag.. i have been trying to pay alot of attention in class and complete all my tutorials on time. Really beaT after a whole day and i'm still going archery and CIP tmr and archery on sunday morning. it's gonna be fun but tiring. Fret not, i will study as soon as i have free time. Todayy i went with monica to terris. it was kinda fun..ate katong laksa, satay, oyster omelette and sugar cane juice. it's realllly nice haha. hmzz...today was kinda a long day..and i'm tired out..a little frustrated at some people as well but maybe it's pms. haha. i'm ok =D. mon and me walked past G1 today again.. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. loved it. ew. LOL. tata. (box)

van 11:46 PM

i'll be strong. for myself, my family, my class and for my team. I will not crumble again (like apple crumble). There may be things in life that had got me down, but i'm gonna have to be happy, there's no use brooding and complaining is there? my dad is under alot of stress too. does he complain? guess not. i wanna be like him too. i wan to do things for myself. to overcome this myself. i know i may have been rather moody the past few days, but this will change. i want to be strong and not show my feelings anymore, cuz i dun want it to affect the people around me. i hope my stressed up frens will also jiayou..be strong and hang in there. two years will be over before you know it. today shooting was fun anyway, feel more confident of myself now than before, thanks to fred. seriously, last time i was a demoralized freak. THANKS FREDDY. it's already 1 plus in the morning. i was so tired just now i fell asleep in my sis's room. >_<. haha.
Eating: Air
watching: the com
Feeling: inspired..haha
LOVE LOVE.

van 1:23 AM

hey. yeah reporting from at home...realli tired out now. i'm just really tired of everything. you can say i'm emotionally weak or mentally unstable but i'm really tired now. everything is just accumulating.. my family, my frens, archery, my studies. and i just dun feel the determination i had before. in front of my frens, i'm always smiling and laughing..even if i feel like crying inside. i broke down several times, and i hated it. i hated being unable to control my emotions. i hated being unable to control what's around me. but of course we cant control anything, can we? i just hate the helplessness i have to struggle with. alot of stuff's happening with my family now and i'm tired of being there, though i have to. i'm tired of being caught in the middle, feeling what u all feel but unable to do anything. then i dunno what to do.i'd rather ur revert back to the past, when ur dun bother about me cuz u dun have problems. i hate to see u hurt. then school, i cant catch up. i'm seriously going to break down. i need to do work, need someone to help but i dunno where to start. i'm also tired of some people. tired of smiling. seriously i'm just damn tired. but i will continue to be strong. and smile. no matter wad happens.

van 9:30 PM

whoops, i havent update u for some exciting happenings. Basically, my girlfriends :Simna, eunice and monica. we all went for a movie the other day. after mr lee's bdae (he got a really cute cute doggie), we went to takashimaya to eat crystal jade.. whooaaa. but we didnt eat crystal jade palace la (duh, u think we're loaded mehh). aniway we went to buy some tidbits after tt (so pig) and i bought a frap.. mighty mocha frap...rocking on! whee. okay then we decided to go into the cinema early.(scary movie 4). it was Lido no. 7, the scary one. the super dark and creepy one. hahz. so it was really quiet and there was no one there yet. n some idiots bought the seat with one seat away frm the way so it's like i can sit with jane, my imaginary fren. the idiots are my frens anyways. kidding kidding. so they decided to tease me as i volunteered to sit inside cuz simna and eunice were scared -_-. so they left me sitting there alone and started pointing around me, saying "oh my gosh vanessa, beside u..." (it was monica btw). and suddenly the music boomed on. hahahaha. they screamed like mad hyenas. it was really very very farnie.then their scream scared me so i screamed as well. haha. then nvm, monica came back frm toilet and she snuck up behind simna and lowered her head down above simna's head and simna screamed like i-dunno-wad. haha, plus there were people in the cinema. so PAISEHH. but the show really rocks. been a little depressed lately, kinda overloaded le n kinda sick of having to guess how others feel. until an extent i cant really b bothered. oh wellz, i shant blogg abt sad stuff. ITALY WON!!!!!!!!!! YEA BABYY. on to the finals. i dun care if they win or lose..i'll support them all the way. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
love, van van.

van 12:54 AM