Van :)

tt's where u find love

2006...half of the memories haha. e other half will be coming soon. i changed my blogskiin! whooO. so for pple like simna who hates anime. LOVE THIS! =).

Song playing is that's where i find love by westlifee. it's for you all out there =):

in your eyes i found the greatest prize
you and i could not be closer
and in your arms is everything i want
now i know my search is over
and i don't know where you take me
but it's exactly where i wanna be
it's where the stars line up
it's where the oceans touch
it's in a place you've never been that feels like home
it's in the air right now
it's where you give your all
and give a little more
i've never been so sure that's where you find love
people pass
and listen to us laugh
wishing that they had the same thing
and our friends they ask
how we made it last
i just smile and say the same thing
i'm not sure how we got here
baby i'm just glad that you got here
it's where the stars line up
it's where the oceans touch
it's in a place you've never been that feels like home
it's in the air right now
it's where you give your all and give a little more
i've never been so sure that's where you find love
that's where you find love
it's where the stars line up
it's where the oceans touch
it's in a place you've never been that feels like home
it's in the air right now
it's where you give your all and give a little more
i've never been this sure that's where you find love
find love that's where you find love

Happy 2007! lovelove!

van 10:06 PM

mass food poisoning again. i went out with my fren yesterday then my sis suddenly messaged me to come home immediately cuz my mom and dad were vomitting. then i quickly rushed back. my mom and dad were vomitting one after another. then my sis called a cab and i helped them change up and we took a taxi to the 24 hour clinic. the doctor gave a jab to my mom and my dad. then we brought them home and they fell asleep almost immediately. i was so exhausted after staying up to look after my parents. lol. then my fren called me and we chatted on the phone until i fell asleep. =)

let's fly away from here. all the sorrows, tears and troubles. let's leave them all behind us. lovingg youu

van 3:00 PM

yesterday i went to lau pa sat with my dad and my sis. it's pretty different from when i last saw it, i can say. i'm a nOOB! haha. here're some pictures of the yummy stuff we ate.

satayy...we ate a total of twenty satays, beef and mutton. i give it 3.5 stars =)

Chilli clams. it's gravy is spicy and thick and super yummy. but some clams lost their meat. so i'm giving it 4 stars. =)

bbq sting ray. the chilli is good but the sting ray is not really fresh. =( so 2.5 stars instead.

chilli squid! oh man!! this is GOOD! the chilli is sweet and spicy. the sotong is fresh. i'm giving it 4.5 stars!

Mango Ice Kachang. the mango is heaped on and the servings are generous. the ice is not lumpy and the syrups are generously poured on.. it's really sweet and quite good. i give it 3.5 stars

Overall it was a good dinner. and really filling. =)

van 3:35 PM

heyheyhey, received a few more christmas cards by mail =). thanks uncle edmund and thomas, zuanling and huiyu! =). i loved the cards. smilex.
tuesday: i went for trainingg in e rain. haha, it wasnt that bad i guess. except attendance was...well, u guys know it urselves. =\. lol. ahh, thanks fred for helping me make my bow. =P after training, i went with mon to causeway point. we had our lunch and met kaiyun, liying, sukmun to study. VAL GET WELL SOON! it wasnt really much of studying actually =(. then i went to meet my fren. we walked around vivo and acted stupid. it was really funn!

Wednesday: I went with mon to kap to study. =). it was quite ok i guess. i met her fren timothy. haha, he'd weirdly funny, or funnily weird. he's from her primary school i guess. then when mon went off, i studied with him for awhile before my fren came to fetch me. =). it was a fun day today i guess.

Have you ever been in love, you could touch the moonlight. when your heart is shooting stars, you're holding heaven in your arms, have you ever been in love.

van 12:16 AM

jingle bells, jingle bells... whooO.. it's christmas! haha. today was an eventful day... our family went out with uncle edward's family to eat dim sum. =D. they gave us christmas presents, they bought my sis a wallet and bought a package of four bottles of escada perfume. it's really chio la! i wouldnt want to use it.

Uncle edward: let's go shenzhen, there are loads of clothes for girls like you two
Me: ok, when are we setting off?
(everyone laughs at me)

Uncle edward: whoa, this time your dad treating us to the meal leh. see you have such a great father.
Me: yah, he's great. so you can be a great man and treat us to a free trip to shenzhen.
(everyone laughs)
Sis: either ways u wont be paying right?
(everyone laughs. this time at me)

ok great. so i was a joke even without meaning to be. grrr.

haha i ate deep fried ice cream too! yumyum. after that, all of us went shopping. my dad got himself an N73 handphone. then we bought presents for melanie, perpetua and emmanuel. =). and my mom bought LOADS of clothes for me. i'm happy! then all of us were hungry so we trooped to some cafe to have tea. i ate CHOCOLATE FONDUE. yum yum! i cleaned out the entire pot of chocolate. now i'm definitely a few pounds heavier. =P. haha, yep then we shopped around some more, and we had our dinner at crystal jade. i'm HAPPY! haha! thank you to all those people who messaged me to wish me merry xmas: ivan kor, jo, val, simna, amanda, haoteng, felicia, yh, wl, kt, sukmun, jerome, nicole, sharon... i'm sorry if i dont put your names down here cuz there are quite a few people who msg me but i dun have their numbers. =P. oops.
thanks nalan, amanda, fel, sy for the christmas cards, auntie winnie for the lagsana and butter cake, uncle edward for the perfume, simna for that cute cute notebook, derrick for that extremely furryy soft toy, lawrence for the online card, my parents for the mountains of clothes you bought for me today, xinran for the xmas wish tho it's not xmas at your side of the globe yet

X sent 25/12/2006 03:22:
here's still xmas eve
X sent 25/12/2006 03:22:
:P
X sent 25/12/2006 03:22:
MERRY XMAS

and most importantly thank you to someone for the not-yet-xmas presents and just being there.

this xmas is special ...coz of youu

van 2:48 AM

haha.. wellwell, been a few days since i last updated =)
friday: i went for training today! =). shot 30m again, tried to improve on everything but got rudely interupted =\ grr. haha. then after that i bade colin and jason goodbye, and went to meet simna. we went marina square. sorryy pangseh the bbq. chien wei must have been disappointed. yeah, guess i wasnt feeling too good. felt very troubled i guess. sorry =(. then me and simna bought candy floss! and haagen dazs ice cream. YUMMAY! haha we walked by singapore river and wished on some balloons that they would put on s'pore river. =D. it was fun with simna larz =).

saturday: i went for training again, despite stomach cramps. lol. and some rude arghhh.. nvm haha. i received a pig as a get well present. =P. so sweet. =). hmmmm... nth to say le. i shall start mugging =P. LOVE.

van 5:22 PM

i'm high. from the caffeine. i can't get drunk on a bottle of beer, but give me a strong cup of coffee and my head will spin like mad and my hands will shake like mad. grrr. haha. i have no idea why. don't ask me. =P. i went out with my sis today, had a long long talk with her. cleared up alot of things, i guess. =). it was pretty fun, especially after the coffee got me high, i started singing "DOE A DEER, A FEMALE DEER..." at the top of my lungs in the middle of orchard road. but thanks to my sis for accompanying me as the bass. whoo! i saw yanling at orchard today too. woohoo! HI YANLINGG! lol!! ok i AM high.

lost the courage to write what i wanted to write for fear nosy parkers will peek and pry again. gaahh.. restricteddd! =). haha.. o well, what i wanted to say is... i'm happy! i really am. WHOO. haha =).

van 5:10 AM

i went out with my family to my grandmother's birthday party today. ok, it was a birthday dinner. there were no cocktails or dances. but it was enjoyable all the same, with every single living body telling me i'm dark. OK YES I AM lol! michelle brought her boyfriend today. he looks like pierre png! lol! man.. all my cousins' boyfriends are good looking. hahaz. i realised my grandma is pretty much as stubborn as my mom. haha. they looked pretty cute arguing cuz my mom wanted to shelter her from the rain but she refused. it was pretty fun chatting with my aunties and uncles. i played a trick on one of my uncles. lol. it was quite funny.
oh yes, forgot to say our team went to swensens after the competition yesterday. we did some pretty funny stuff. (secret) i laughed till i almost fell off the chair. monica is sooo farnie. haha duhh..she's my honeyy right? =) nicol was humorous too!
and fred, no i don't have a voodoo doll of you. (if i do, it must be pretty ugly!) wahahaha. stop blaming your fever on me. grr. and the voodoo must have an endless chatter..it must be able to nag continuously for five hours.. hahahahaha

dont awaken everything. only to make me feel like putting everything to sleep.

van 11:01 PM

i'm not myself, i guess. lack of motivation, lack of determination, just simply a walking and talking corpse. i guess mr tiew was right. so was fred. but i beg to differ on one point, which is, i DID go from lane 18 to lane 1 to check on my team mates. and i did that between details. the times u see me standing at my own lane...well, let's just say you just caught me at the wrong time. but why didnt i say anything? because it's not like the rest of what you said was wrong. and i felt too tired to protest. you're partially right, i have lost myself, the old driven vanessa. the one who could easily lead the band with sheer determination and discipline. where has she gone? i have no idea. what i see in front of me now, is someone who is weak and on the verge of giving up on herself.

now, vanessa is not going to be like this and stay like this anymore. i'm going to stand up again. that flame in me is going to be rekindled. i am not going to let anything affect me from my mission and goal, which extends beyond archery. i'm going to be strong n do what i have to. but i plead with the people i work with, please let me do what i'm supposed to, and more than what i'm required to.

had an emotional day yesterday, from the off-form during the shoot, to the long talk in mr tiew's car, to the wanna-breakdown reflection time, to the...well never mind about the last one. i guess this has made me realise i've become too individualistic. the goal fred set for me has made me concentrate on the wrong part of the competition. i became self-focused, instead of focusing more on enjoying the shoot and being with my team. i was more wary of my form, and too eager to get yellows that i became demoralized and shot badly whenever i scored a blue or black. everything basically goes downhill from there. yep...but what's over is over. i'll start afresh. that's it.

van 12:07 PM

i'm positively drained. haha. i just fell sleep in the midst of chatting with simna. =P. we were like discussing wad time to meet and i suddenly plopped on e bed and slept. sorray for making u worried! =).
Thursday: we had training again, it was pretty near e competition so it was less strenuous. but we still had our sugar cane drinks after that. then a few of us (colin, jason, fred, mon, mi) decided to go vivo to catch a movie. we caught an inspirational movie. (though, colin, i knew u wanted licks 5d) it was pretty nice to have an inspirational movie before the competition. fred and colin were squirming in their seats during the love scenes. me and mon were laughing at jason shaking his leg and making loud noises when his bag rubs again his leg everytime he shakes. but the movie was quite nice and farnie too. it was pretty predictable though. but all in all, not bad. then i walked to the bus stop with colin and jason when my dad called, asking me to meet in orchard instead. so i bade gdbye to colin and jason and went to take the train to isetan.
I found my dad, but my mom decided to play "turn-right-turn-left" with us. we went down the escalator and she was coming up so we past each other and could only helplessly wail (ok, only i wailed, and pretty loud as a matter of fact). =P
Wednesday: I went with my sis to KAP to study. it was quite ok, pretty cold though. then after that i went to meet someone. we looked stupid caught in the rain. haha.
everytime we touch, i get this feeling. everytime we kiss i think i can flyy

van 1:11 AM

i'm getting more and more drained by the sun. haha. yesterday i had training again. these days, the sun is totally burning into the scalp lol. then we had individual then team event. =). it was quite fun. then we sat mr tiew's car to bukit timah market AGAIN. haha i think we're going to finish eating all e stalls' food soon. =0 i just finished a sugar cane and a bowl of ice kachang for lunch to cool myself down. then i went to mon's house to bathe. haha feels clean =). then we went out with the class. sorry if i laughed too loud, it's mon's fault! =D. then i had to go dinner with my dad, so i left early to meet my dad. we ate nice nice hawker food *grins*. when i went home, i bathed and fell asleep immediately. the sun really drains my energy. lol. but i woke up at like 5 in the morning. now's 540 le. gotta go!

van 5:27 AM

my sis said this girl in the blogskin looked like she was watching her prince dance with his fiancee. and all she can do is to hide behind a huge pillar in the castle and watch them happily together. wow haha, what rich imagination! =). i just woke up from my deep slumber. it's 6 plus now. yaWWns. haha i have to go to ij early today so that colin and simna can fletch their arrows. grins. alrights, i better go bathe and then dream about hoyt a little while. OH..haha, i touched the helix yesterday. the gold one and the red one. mr wee let me and mon look at it. it was so gorgeous i wanted to grab it and run out of the house. it was beautiful la! it was begging me to buy it, the finish was so perfectt! haha. i don't need a boyfriend when i have helix! haha. lol. i'm going to scrimp and save that thousand dollars so i can get you, honey! wait for me!!! after going to bill's, we went j8 to eat cafe cartel (so much for scrimping). yumyum! haha it was soO filling. after that, we went home. mon took e bus so i had to take the train all e way back to je. luckily for me, some kind soul offered to accompany me back. i'm happy u rushed down immediately despite having other plans. =). well then i went home and took a warm bubble bath again. i'm happy! =D. but life's not as complete without hoyt. ALRIGHT VAN, ENOUGH!
12122006...impt date =)

van 6:47 AM

just ended training. i'm happy. just had lunch at bukit timah market. i drank two cups of sugar cane YUMYUM =). then i came back to bathe and get club fund. i feel clean now. mon is bathing now. =D so i'm free to update my blog. =D. how's my new blog skin? i like it =). and i like e song too =). comments? i'm rattling off rubbish cuz i don't know what else to say. haha. later, me and mon are going bill wee's to buy stuff.

Is everything you said the truth, or is it just me? i'm scared to trust, i'm afraid to commit. =(
love vanx.

van 1:42 PM

why do i even bother? i don't want to be caught in this rollercoaster of emotions. the happiness, the confusion, the doubt, the distrust. i don't want the feeling i had when sitting on the tippy top of the viking boat. the feeling of almost being thrown out of the seat. don't coat your words with honey when you don't mean it. i finally realised how hard it is to trust someone after they have hurt you. the contradictory feeling of wanting to trust, but being afraid of having to face the same heart wrenching pain as before. i'm not your backdoor, i'm not some object used for convenience. i have feelings too. don't say something and mean another. don't give me all the wonderful sounding promises but when it comes to putting in effort, you can't. if you can't, then don't make any promises. if your heart's not in it, then please dont lead me on.

van 11:47 PM

hihi i just came back from chalet! =) happiness! it was quite fun!
First day: we bluffed eunice we werent going for the chalet. she seemed disappointed. but actually, mi and simna went to tampines mall to buy cake, sunflower and a dog for her. she seemed shocked when we ran into e chalet and yelled "happi bdae eunice!" haha but i'm glad we made her day =) then we went to changi village there. we saw alot of ahem.. business'men'.. haha. then we mixed tons of drinks together and played finger guessing game. it was fun!
second day: woke up and bathed, then we wanted to kayak. but cannot =(. so we went cycling. thank you to my teacher, wu chien wei. haha actually i dunno how to cycle but after cw's teaching, i finally learnt how to. he was really patient! after that, we went to escape. (me, eunice, mon, simna and alex). we played a few games cuz we onli had 3 hours. then i wanted a soft toy. the "man-of-his-word" spent 6 coupons and his own money to get me a soft toy. at the last time, he just closed his eyes and threw the ball. it got in!! two out of three times! wow! haha. thanks 'lex. then we had a surprise for alvin. we got e seniors to pretend we were having a night trail. and blindfold everyone. but only alvin was wearing cuz all of us took it out as soon as he had his on. haha then we led him to an ulu corner. then his 'sister' was standing there with a bdae cake. when he took out his blinfold, he was shocked and totally surprised =). i'm glad he is =). happy bdae alvin!
third day: checked out and went to eat at tampines mall. ate pastamania =). haha i'm beat. still have training tomorrow. i love our archery team! haha

van 4:20 PM

i'm disappointed. we didnt go kbox in the end. cuz a few of them couldnt make it. *bawls*. but ITS OKAY! i had a fruitful evening anyways. i went to eat steamboat with my lovely family. not that i could chew properly but still, it was heartwarming! i love steamboats. i feel so reunited. *starts singing 'reunited and it feels so good...reunited and it's understood'* i loved it! whoo~. then after that we went to visit my grandmama and grandpapa. they were watching tv at home. so we went there and accompanied them for a little while. I LOVE MY GRANDPARENTS. =D. i gave them a little hug before i left.

hmm...that hug felt more than a hug. no not physically, but emotionally. it sorta pulled at my heart strings. it's one of those times when you turn and look at your grandparents and think "they're getting old". and it's not those "oh, they're so old la" but those "haiz, i love them" those kinda feeling. as i hugged my grandma, i could feel her fragility. and although she could only hug me back with one hand cuz she's half paralysed, i felt extremely warm. and when i look at my parents, i feel that feeling too. that "wad am i going to do without them" feeling. i love my family and i'm going to treasure every single moment with them. that's a promise. =)

Oh man, that sounded so serious. back to my bubbly self. I ATE MOCHI ICE CREAM JUST NOW. haha. it was nice. it really really was. i'm happpy! =) *beams*. haha okok, i better sleep. nite!

van 1:16 AM

my wisdom tooth is coming out!! it's so painful i can't eat solid food. haha. so my dear family bought me some herbal jelly thing just now to soothe my gum. i hate herbal jelly haha. it's so bitter. but the sincerity is sweet! so i'm gonna finish it! i'm gonna add all the honey and some sugar. THANKS PEOPLE! i miss my famous amos =( and junk food. but oh well, it's a golden opportunity to slim down. haha!

oh yes! i forgot to tell you guys i went to watch 9.56. a few days ago. haha, well it wasnt THAT bad. i mean, it's pretty hard to come up with a plot much less make an hour plus long movie. so let's give the director some credit ok? haha, it was not as freaky as shutter, definitely. but it was quite freaky. my fren was like clutching my arm and screaming throughout. i was frightened of my fren's screams. it made me more freaked out. haha. but overall it was o-k. my mom watched happy feet! haha. with auntie winnie. so sweet right?

i'll update you guys more about my kboxing =) *beams* love!

van 2:40 PM

today i went for training =). then the team went to eat after training. hah! the guys asked alot of funny questions like the seeweed and baboon burger question. it was fun. i'm sure we'd bond during the chalet. i want us to. =D. i think at the end of three days, cw will be tired of saying so many "OIE"s for simna and i. yeah! tomorrow i can go out with simna and nalan they all. i'm happi =) we're gonna k box overnight.

thursday: Monica and i went to buy stuff (hahaha dun tell you). then we bought quite alot of stuff la. heex and i bought ANOTHER belt. i'm HAPPY. then i met eunice after that cuz she finished going out with her fren. then we went to buy more stuff. i bought a skirrt and some of the stuffs for myself. =D wheee. quite fun quite fun. =)

Friday: i stayed home the whole day until i felt super bored. haha, i ran from my house to nature park, ran around naature park then ran back. and eunice felt super bored too. so two bored people. what else can we do? GO OUT, DUH. then i told eunice "ok, u finish w your dinner u tell me" then she was like "OKAY". then she called me "can get ready? i reaching in two minutes." TWO MINNUTES. like who can get ready in two minutes. and from my guardhouse to my unit is five minutes. haha i ran like a mad dog. then we went imm. i ate cafe cartel. fat. hurhur. then we wanted to go play pool. or study at the airport overnight. ahh well, in the end we couldnt. so sad. then we went home. stood like palm trees at a grassy junction. i felt like part of the scenery. cuz we were waiting for eunice's mom. haha. i had fun =)

van 8:52 PM