Van :)

. Phantom of the Opera .

Prayer, i was told, is a really strong thing. when i think of Prayer, i think of a little girl kneeling on the floor beside her soft pink bed. the moon smiling at her through the window, the gentle breeze running its fingers through her blonde curls. her heart is filled with hopes, her mind is filled with colours. a small smile plays on her face. she trusts. she dreams.

then i think of another girl. kneeling on a cold cemented floor, the moon smirking behind the metal bars of her window. the wind sends a chill down her spine. her heart is not filled with hopes, but desperation. her mind is filled with angry and dull colours. splashes of black, red and grey. a tear rolls down her cheeks. she begs. she pleads.

went to watch phantom of the opera yesterday with uncle sim and his family, and uncle fred and his family. i missed yongyi :) she's really an adorable child. oh yes, i realised uncle sim had a daughter in njc. ip4 :) cool! the show was pretty good i guess. nice props. yongyi kept asking if she could take home e chandelier. hahaha. so cute :) when i walked around esplanade kept thinking about my outings with my sis, simna and you. kinda miss em :)

although i always pretend to be grumpy and scold u. always doubt you and throw tantrums, i really appreciate everything u do. travelling from sch to my house back to ur house which is like on the other side of the island. how u always try so hard to cheer me up. and i dont care wad others think. but iloveyou :)

Love, vanx

van 8:48 PM

. Home with You .

i was saved. like a shipwrecked victim awaking from a long time of being tossed around in the chilly sea. awaking to an island of sun and sand. awaking to Paradise. You saved me. I always thought myself of as insignificant in Your eyes. Lost, insignificant and unimportant. yet You showed me time and again that You've never given up on me. from little yellow butterflies to vibrantly coloured rainbows. from sweet dreams to warm embraces. i can always feel You beside me, like a constant reminder that im appreciated.

Your voice rings in my ears, telling me to believe in myself and You, to go on no matter how hard everything is. Yes, i had many thoughts of breaking down, giving up, backing out. but You never failed to be there for me, telling me You are watching me, telling me to have faith. The universe embraces You, the stars shine for You. every planet, every star is lined up perfectly. every flower, every bird, every plant grows and dies for You. i feel small and insignificant, but You picked me up in your arms. Me. You strip my soul naked with Your eyes. every mistake, every thought. Yet You accepted me for all i am, you gave me time to grow and accept.

You lifted me higher than the highest mountains. when i close my eyes, i feel myself nestled in Your embrace, soaring past the highest clouds, soft wet cotton cool to the touch. i hear the delightful chirps of bluebirds. i open my eyes and watch the golden sun peek out from between the fuzzy mountain peaks. and i know im home.

van 12:45 AM

hello :). it's like almost 1am in the morning and i'm doing chem tys :) okay i have no idea why im so happy about that. :P
Today i came home real early becuz i was really tired and i had loads of homework to do. he sent me home during his free period then rushed back to school. thankyou dar :). then i played with my baby for a while (err.. in order for it not to sound so wrong, let me explain that my baby is a cat). i was really surprised to see dad at home :) yep, he had something to discuss with uncle edward :) i havent went out with his family for a while. then i fell asleep cuz i was too tired and i woke up at 9 to have my dinner. then i started studying at 10 after sending some registration forms to jasonpoh. :P.

thank you for always making time for me. i guess it's much more difficult this year cuz u have so many commitments and i have to buck up on my work. (who ask u to be so smart, dunno wad scholar stuff, research stuff, cip stuff, wise stuff :\)

just finished my tutorials. time for Quiet Time :)

Love,Vanx

van 12:53 AM

. Faith .

ytd was a great day. i finally went back to church :) hurray. and i am going to continue to go :) hello to the people i met. :)
yupyup. im going to stay up tonight to complete all the incomplete tutorials etc. yeah. good luck to me. :) i can do it! :) he sent me home after school today. we had dinner together. it wasnt spectacular gourmet but like he said, it was wonderful cuz we had each other :)

yep yep. i had fun. but when there's fun, there's hw and studies and consultations too :). i have to go mug. love you.

van 10:19 PM

. picturees! .

Here are some pictures of that day with :) at s'pore river. the bum boat etc :) i really miss tt day :(

Yep. Jap food again yesterday at the restaurant at shaw centre. spent about five hundred bucks in all :) but the food was good :) that shows the sashimi. i think im in love with sea urchin :) haha, weird me. wanted to go shop around after that but it was a lil late and all the shops were closing :( o wells. some other day then :)

I'm editing this post in the wee hours of the night becuz my :) is busy somewhere in his house with some stuff and he asked me to waaaaiiitt. :( . so let me tell u about my day today.. i went to IJ to shoot today. my mental was still quite weak. as in, i did get quite a few yellows and my score was reasonably good but its not the score that really matters. everytime someone said something distracting my arrow lands somewhere else. i have to concentrate! concentrate van!! :) yep and i just finished like 6 registration forms for our invitational. :) feel kinda relieved now. hmm then sim wanted to lunch with me so we went out for lunch tgt :). after tt i headed home and had dinner with my parents. after that 4.8 km on fri i thought i wont run again. but i ran 6 km today at the gym. :) it felt really good. yepyep. tmr's going to be a long day. Church, then sam's house for st meeting then maybe dinner with simna. :) i need to rush my chem too. cya!!

My :) is back!! i shall chat to him now :) :)

van 11:17 PM

. loving youu .

hmm i believe fred's right. so i shall delete that sweary lil entry and continue blogging my own stuffs :)
anyways, went out again a few days ago to watch primeval with him :) went suntec then marina square :) happyy :) :) :)
went for shooting ytd. mental was quite screwy cuz everything was so distracting. even the black bow. smirks. :) (winks at sam and mon) but i did ok i guess. i wanna upgrade to W&W NX. :) :) haha but training was a little not serious ytd, especially when weihong said that he fed his arrows milk so they could grow. then sam and mon could not shoot anymore. heex :)
today he came over to pei me. heeheex :) yep we had a very long talk and i felt alot better. thanks dar :)

iloveyou :)
Vanx

van 6:51 PM

. vany with no pony .

I CHOPPED MY PONY OFF! haha whoa that's like headline news. my hair is officially as short as eunice's. :P. and dun say it aint nice becuz that's wad ive wanted for some time and i've no regrets doing it. wheee. so tt pretty much sums up 4 hours in the saloon with eunice. :)

yesterday was a fun fun day :) i used to envy those couples who can go out on dates very often becuz he's always busy. i mean yea la, he sends me home every other day but still..i kinda envy those people. but now, i dont anymore. because i realised how much more memorable a date is if its nicely spaced out and if there's so much effort put in to plan. yep..and money too. thanks hor :) i know u've spent a long time wrecking ur brains over it :) it was really enjoyable.
we went loads of places ytd. i met him after his sch was over and we went cine to eat (yuckyuck). we ate until we almost could not stand straight. we caught a movie the messenger. it was more funny than scary cuz he KEPT LAUGHING AT WEIRD TIMES. :\. then we walked to plaza sing there and went fort canning walk walk. (interesting stuff happened there!!!! im telling u u'd look good in the long sleeved thing) then we went s'pore river to sit e BUMBOAT! whoopie. it felt somewat close to sitting the boat in venice. but not nearly close enuff. but it was really fun :) i enjoyed myself. :) then we took super long walks along clarke quay. had haagen dazs. yumyum. i had fun :) we wanted to go for more fun stuff but i wasnt up for it cuz i havent really recovered and my best fren is here to make me feel grumpy and pms-y.

i feel like shooting today but im not feeling up to it too. my throat is strangely raw, my nose is running, i feel like i might cough bits of my lungs out. :( complains and complains. :P. I WAN GO OUT WITH E ARCHER GIRLS. SIMNA, wad happened to kbox. ahha but i dun think i can sing these few days. o well, better go prepare.. gonna meet ali later for some software thingie.
LOVE YOU ALL.
Vanx

van 9:17 AM

. everyone's sick .

have not been updating as regularly anymore. :( guess i always come here and not know what to say anymore. lol. im a lazy gurl. i came back from shooting this afternoon, red and burnt. my throat was hurting like mad and im now having fever. yikes. everyone's falling sick. :(. get well soon to eunice, simna and hanqiang. :)
my head is hurting so if u dun really understand what im saying then it's alright cuz im a lil delusional lol. :) Lots of things happened after common test was over. there was bonding camp, bio spa, outing with ky they all (smiles), outing with archer girls (this time the FULL senior team yippee!!). On the day of our last paper, the archer girls went out to grand cathay. we ate ben and jerry's..and caught the movie hannibal rising. then sam sam had to go home :( so nvm, me eun sim n mon were still in the mood for another movie so we watched pursuit of happyness. it's a really touchy show. made me feel so lucky :) aww. YES SIMNA I CRIED hahahaha. :)
then outing with ky they all after bio spa. liying couldnt come along. :( but oh well, we went for suki sushi buffet. i ate until my stomach was so big, fat and round. haha. explained why i had a stomach upset the next morning too. hahahha but it was really really fun.. we were all stuffing ourselves silly :) especially that mushroom thingie. haha suk mun kept taking and taking new plates. ;)
well.. i should really go get some sleep. roars. go away fever. :(
miss ya :)

van 4:25 PM

. 7 .

I just realised i've been tagged 8 months ago. argh haha. sorry sorry to e person who tagged me. :) here it is.

7 random facts about me-
(1) i hate mayo n wasabi
(2) i love shopping with my family
(3) i hate wearing jeans without belts, it's like walking out of the loo without zipping your pants
(4) i love wearing my darling's jacket to sleep
(5) God, my family, frens and him mean the world to me
(6) I love walking along s'pore river
(7) Im emotional

7 things that scare me-
(1) The day my family members have to leave me
(2) him leaving me
(3) losing faith
(4) a levels
(5) growing up
(6) backstabbers

7 things i like most-
(1) God
(2) being with you
(3) my wonderful frens
(4) my fantastic family
(5) the stars
(6) love letters
(7) sunrise/sunset

van 1:04 AM

. happy birthday monmon .

happy belated birthday honeyyyY!!! :) haha i didnt log on the past few days so i didnt have a chance to say this. but thank you for always being here for me, through thick and thin, always being able to put a smile on my face, even if it's at the expense of insulting yourself. :P. you KNOW i appreciate that. :) scooters, bicycles, thighs...everything.. and thank you for making me strong enough pull through that emotional breakdown i had at the end of last year. thank you for letting me know happiness is a personal choice. I LOVE YOU HONEYY! :) (err, dont be mistaken, my honey is MONICA ANGKODJOJO!!)
Let me dedicate one paragraph for you alright? haha, monica. when i first met you, it was crazy. you were super friendly. in fact i got quite irritated whenever we were rushing for time and you would start socialising with 90% of nj population, all of which you seem familiar with. haha, but i slowly got used to that and now, whenever you disappear i would know u're somewhere socializing :P. then a few days after my birthday, i saw this elmo soft toy and i said i loved elmo alot. the next day, you bought it for me. i thought it was really sweet :). then we joined archery together. went through logistics planning together. im really glad you have always been there for me. even trips to bill wee's house and everything. if it werent for you, i would have died. this last year with you had been really fun and exciting. you never failed to make me smile. and i still get scared whenever you hide behind walls to scare me. but i find it really amusing :) and what about our trips to orchard to binge and watch movies. :) I LOVE YOU MON!

these days...filled with mugging mugging mugging. hours spent in the air conditioned library. library hopping...je library, woodlands library, school library. and i have an awful headache now :( jian chi dao di! yea! :) to all my frens out there...jiayou worzxxxxx (learn from simna) :P

Love love :)
Vanx

van 10:47 PM