. Pirates .
went for training in the morning ytd. then after tt was supposed to meet darling for lunch. BUT..i was late :( hahahaha sorry darling. then we met and bought tics for Pirates of the Caribbean in the evening. then we shared a cup of gelato :) super nice.after that we walked to Paragon Medical Centre for my appointment w dr ang. yup my appointment was at 3 pm supposedly but the people before me took soo longg. FINALLY it was my turn. oh yes, dad mum and sis were there too. so i came out and saw mom n darling chatting like there's no tomorrow. haha then darling and i went for our date :)
Pirates was nice! i love johnny depp. ok...i love jack sparrow actually. he's soooo funny. he was e one that entertained me most throughout e whole long long movie. ok luh, the guy beside me entertained me too :) :) hee. but i likee jacckk!! haha, the monkey is super cute too. I WANT IT! it was not a bad show at all. but it's really super long hahaha. but still not as long as king kong i think. n not as boring as simna's ghost movie when she fell aslp and woke up and it was still at the same part. hahahaha.
then darling and i walked around n went some places. reached home at 1 plus in the morning. whee. hahaha
im getting better...thanks val for the messages and calls. thanks all for ur concern. oh btw, I GOT MY INNO! thank you coach ken for helping me out the other day to teach me a little. :) :)
yupyup, i have to go now. yawns. oh yes, happy geog trip simna!! :)
van 11:01 PM
. thank you all for ur concern .
this entry is specially dedicated to all those well wishers. :)Simna - thanks for ur concerned messages, and i know although i dont really reply them, they really touched me. you're really my great great fren! and i guess i wasnt in a state to reply emo messages. sorry!!!! :) thanks for being there for me to hug and to cheer me up with ur really stupid stupid comments :)
Val - thanks for all ur messages too. i havent got to thank u for that message of encouragement. (didnt reply it again). it meant alot, ur concern and everything.
Monica - thanks for all ur messages. and for replying my darling when he was worried about why i didnt reply him. thanks for really just being there for me to scream at, to hug, to cheer me up
Sam - thanks for being there too. thanks for asking if i was okay. and being someone i can lean on :)
my great bunch of friends - sorry i havent been in school for some time. i need time to find myself back. i know you guys missed me! HA!
Kor - thanks for asking n telling me to take care.
Jason - thanks for understanding and trying to talk to me about it
Mr Tiew - thanks for talking to me, understanding me and encouraging me. :)
Sister - your really the the the the BEST! thank you for bringing me out for retail therapy. for paying for that super expensive dress. for listening to me, for being there for me to hug. for holding my hand when im lost. for holding me when the medicine takes effect making me feel terrible.
My dad - i know u care so much about me. thanks for rushing me to the doctor when i said i needed help. thanks for being that big strong solid pillar of strength i have always looked up to as a little girl.
My mom - you are soooo wonderful too! thanks for always understanding me, hugging me when things get tough, telling me to hold on.
My darling - thanks for all the concerned messages, the phone calls. i know i havent been really reasonable toward you but you've always just absorbed it in and gave in to me. thank you for being there all the time. no matter how busy you were, you would drop me a message to tell me you love me. and thanks for holding my hand and hugging me to encourage me, for telling me silly jokes, for doing really absurd things to make me smile. thank you for all that special moments. they mean alot to me. :)
Lastly, thank you everyone who have been worried or concerned about me. im ok. i really am :) love you all. i'll be okay soon.
van 8:42 AM
. innocarbon .
Im getting an innocarbon!!!! haha black colour. not cuz i wanna copy jason but no more manufacturing of white colour. :( sob! im getting masters from tang tomorrow. borrowing it for a week before my innocarbon comes in! :) happy!!! im changing my whole set le. bow, arrows, chest guard. everything adds up to about 1800 bucks. THANKS MOM AND DAD!!
congrats to my successor wu duo! new captain of archery team 2007-2008. i believe you'd do a good job. so will hanxiao, sam and colin! haha, muack muack. :) juniors, im confident u will surpass us seniors, work hard alright?gonna see him later. must mug now. yippee!
van 12:26 PM
emo post ahead
Finally it's over. :). all the sweat and straining of eyes and nights of falling asleep at the computer. all the snappings and yellings and laughter. all the mosquito bites, sun burns, messy hair, splintered fingers and swollen eyes from the lack of sleep. everything is finally over. our archery team was great :) the foreign archers were very frenly too. everyone was queueing up to take a picture with elijah. im having the farewell dinner tonight. :) good work people!there are times when i think im strong enough to be on my own.
im being emo again. after tonight it'll be mugging, training, church. there's so much to catch up on.
venting: you think you are amazing. im serious. you think we need you. well let me tell you we dont. you said we should not be involved in the disputes, but instead, for a name and for some glory, you involved yourself in it. now you are making biased statements. do you even notice that? you are no longer someone i can and want to confide in. you are just someone i want to avoid as much as i can. you no longer weigh your tone and your words to see if they hurt. i no longer look up to you either. you call yourself our ______ but i dont see what effort you have put in for us. im tired of this. i'll just go on, pretending you never existed.
van 4:30 PM
. ugly n scarred lie .
Southeast Asian Archery Federation Junior Championship Fita 900. haha, it's approaching!! all of us are like doing lots of last minute organising stuff. i hope i can concentrate on my studies once this is over. studies and shooting :)saturday was bio spa...after that i went kap with him. he had cip meeting there. we saw val, ky, liying there :) then me n him ate there then i did my electrochem n homeostasis tutorial. so guai right? haha. of course i could do it becuz there's a smart guy beside me :)...who didnt study. he was playing tetris on my phone :(. arghh, haha, i kept peeking over, hoping he wont beat my high score :P then me and him decided to leave kap to go gym. yup :) tt's it for saturday :)
we met someone i didnt want to meet. dont wanna elaborate and i dont want to sound mean anymore. but you should have gotten over it. i guess i never felt the way u did to me, toward you. and i find your threats and emo-ness repelling, for a guy.
you're right. nothing you say is going to change anything. i dont know why i feel this way whenever i think of you. it's as though if i had the capacity to hate anyone, you'd be first. i would never forget that suffocating period of time. for you, you said they were beautiful memories. for me, it was an ugly and scarred lie. when i was with you, i was lying to myself, lying to you. i thought love was if you gave a chance to someone. i gave you chances. for that eleven months plus i wanted to break up with you, there was nothing but empty threats, punching of walls and desperate cries. you never cared about how i felt. yes, you gave me everything a girlfriend needed. gifts, messages, calls. but you never gave me what i wanted. i wanted out. for so long. all you knew was to keep me by your side with your crying, your threats of me not caring if you died. i meant it when i told you that day that i never knew what was love until now. because love was not what i felt toward you. pity? sorrow? i was never happy for that time i was with you. i treated you like a friend, a brother. i was stupid. i know i hurt you, but you did too. with your possessiveness and neediness. i no longer have the strength to hate you, or even to treat you as a friend. i have all i want now. i dont care anymore. whether you have gotten over me or not. i dont give a damn.
one last thing. you and your friends have no right to diao my bf. it's alright if you diao me, but not him. leave him out of this. or you will get it from me.
van 5:51 AM
